The Crone in my Mirror
As I was brushing my teeth this morning, I looked into the mirror and saw the gray hairs. It seems I’m working on quite a silver streak in the crown of my mane. Up to now, I have been fighting the grays, running to the hairdresser’s when they threaten to take over, but this morning I spent some time really thinking about why. Am I not ready to embrace my inner Crone?
As a Witcchan (Wiccan witch…is that phrase catching on yet? lol), I understand how the strength and power of the Crone have been hijacked by a patriarchal society, have been twisted and darkened by a culture that fears a strong wise woman, and yet here I am resisting the title. It was in the middle of this internal muddle that the Goddess gave me a little smack on the back of the head (aka an epiphany): are we ever just one thing?
This question sent my thoughts in a whole new direction. I am Wiccan, witch, Lover, Mother, Wife, Daughter, Friend, and so on, often at the same time and never in the same order. These aren’t phases I move through, they are all part of who I am. If this can be so, why would any of us think we can only wear one of the Goddess aspects at a time? When you were young (or if you are now), did you ever have moments when you “mothered” those you care for? Do you ever have moments of wisdom that come from beyond your years? What about you mothers? Do you have times when you feel both the Maid and the Crone coursing through your veins? As a woman who is moving into what our culture tells us is the Crone phase of my life, I can tell you that finding true love in my late 40s after living with what I thought was love (what did I know back then, I was so young lol) has brought out the Maid aspect in me.
The three phases of the triple moon that represents the Goddess are waxing, waning, and full. They also represent the Maid, Mother, Crone aspects but when we make this connection, we forget one essential characteristic of the moon: these phases aren’t finite, they repeat. We experience each phase of the moon many times throughout our lives, so why wouldn’t the corresponding Goddess aspects also be recurring throughout our lives? I believe we shift through each of those phases many times as we travel our paths, our lives aren’t categorized and minimized by an arbitrary line demarcating the divisions between each aspect we pass through.
Western civilization has twisted and demeaned the crone to the point where, we as women, fear to embrace her. The Crone is not a used up, dried out, ugly old cat lady living on the outskirts of civilized society. She is a vibrant wise woman, skilled in the ways of healing, life and death; she is a teacher, mentor, and guide, and she has always been a part of who we are as women. Embracing the Crone doesn’t mean giving up our power, it means embracing and accepting it – no matter when she shows her face to us!
Reaching a specific age doesn’t relegate us to a particular phase of the Triple Goddess. Those phases already exist within us, and we access them as we need to. At 53, I am more vibrant, loving, and alive (in every sense of the word) than I was at any other point in my life. These gray hairs don’t make me any less of a woman, any less feminine or desirable. I reject society’s mandate that women of “an age” are no longer useful in any way and I wholly embrace my inner Crone (though I’ve yet to decide about that silver streak!)! This doesn’t mean I won’t someday become that crazy cat lady on the outskirts of town; it could happen, but not because I’m a Crone!